Want to know what’s really annoying?
It’s really annoying when a black person reflects and describes some aspect of their black experience, like childhood, mannerisms, habits, expressions and phrases, being the token, etc. and it is combated by at least one person, who’s usually white, who says something to the effect of,
“That’s not just a black people thing.”
“I have done it too.”
“We have done it too.”
“Someone I know, who’s not black, has done it too.”
Well congratulations!
Isn’t it truly amazing that they have realized and stated aloud that we as human beings have multiple things in common and can relate to one another’s similarities despite our different backgrounds. It is true, we are more alike than we are different.
This statement is made because the non-black individual hopes to feel included in the moment that was originally intended to foster a sense of solidarity and camaraderie for black people. This is a simple cry that says, “hey, don’t count me out. I want to feel included too.”
Now I know what you’re thinking. This is a simple cry for inclusivity and attention, but there’s something unique about the dynamics of having a white person insist their participation within a cultural context outside of their own.
*cough* White Privilege *cough.*
*cries White Tears*
This whole simple scenario has a, dare I say it, historical context.
Gather round folks because I’m going to break this down real quick.
But first consider this…
No one interrupts a bah mitzvah or quinceanera and says
“I too have had a 13th and 15th birthday party.”
No one interrupts an Eid al-Fitr celebration at the end of Ramadan and says,
“I too have fasted and prayed.”
No one interrupts Día de Muertos and says
“I too have loss loved ones.”
No one interrupts the Spring Festival of the Lunar New Year and says
“I too have anticipated new beginnings.”
No one interrupts a Yom Hashoah Holocaust Remembrance ceremony and says
“My people too have endured horrific acts of adversity throughout history.”
And no one interrupts “Black Lives Matter” and says
“All Lives Matt..”
Ooop, well obviously I got a little carried away there.
It seems as though people of various cultures are able to share with one another and celebrate their unique experiences within society usually unattested. However, when black people do it with their own campaigns, like “Black is Beautiful,” “Black Girls Rock,” and “Black Girl Magic,” just to name a few, to combat the negative messages that are constantly beset upon them, they are often countered with sentiments like “Everyone is beautiful,” “All girls rock,” “All women are magic.” As if uplifting one race somehow threatens another. These campaigns are implemented to cease and reverse the ever pervasive messages that declare the contrary.
So then why does this occur?
Well it goes back to the days where this type of exclusivity and encouragement among blacks was viewed as a serious threat to those in power. During the arduous times of slavery, white slave masters constantly feared slave rebellion. Tactics were used to strip slaves of every aspect of their cultural identity and uniqueness and Eurocentric values were imposed upon enslaved blacks. Anything that was unfamiliar to whites could provoke a sense of fear, nervousness, and anticipation of the unknown, and thus, was strictly prohibited. Enslaved blacks had to abide by many rules that prohibited them to speak in their native tongues, perform native dances, utilize their ancestral talking drums, etc. Therefore, in essence, any congregation, celebration, or elevation of anything black could be subject to the harshest discipline or scrutiny.
For these reasons, often blacks would secretly gather in “hush harbors.” Historically, hush harbors were places where blacks would go to practice their religious traditions away from the public eye, scrutiny, and possible discipline of their white slave masters. Today, hush harbors still exist as atmospheres where blacks can interact with one another outside of the mainstream white society.
However, the scrutiny over blacks gathering together continued well after slavery into Jim Crow laws or “Black Codes.” States established various legislations to keep blacks in line and often regulated how many were allowed to assemble at a given time. The fear of white safety which was present during slavery rolled over into the Civil Rights era and is, dare I say it, still present today.
White Fear Propaganda
For the sake of brevity, I will point to one comparison example from the past year. During 2015 numerous protests erupted in cities like Ferguson and Baltimore after unarmed black men were killed. The protesters, many of whom were black, were met with armed police officers, some who used weapons within their arsenal, such as real and rubber bullets, tear gas, tasers, etc. against the usually peaceful demonstrators. More recently, armed white men in Oregon took over a federal building practically unopposed. The first group was described as “trouble makers,” “race-baiters,” “thugs,” and “rioters.” The latter group has been described as “militants” and “patriots.”
White privilege, white fears, and white tears are real y’all.
Is it really that deep though?
I’d say it is. I’d say that these behaviors are learned. The desire to be included in a social setting is natural. The desire and the assertion that your experience is similar, and therefore, invalidates the experience of another is learned privileged behavior.
Moreover, it has a silencing effect.
If one proceeds through life equipped with the notion that “we all do that,” then perhaps they may not share their experiences that they feel may be influenced by their cultural background in someway out of the assumption of “normality.” As a result, everyone fails to potentially learn something about them.
We may have similar experiences as humans, but as someone who is not a member of the race/ ethnic/ cultural background of discussion, it is pretty arrogant to assume empathy when the experience, although seemingly similar, may actually be quite different. My suggestion would be to listen for understanding. The situation may not be as relatable as you might think.
Ultimately, sharing is caring and allowing others to be fully heard helps truly foster that “we all matter” concept that is so heavily professed these days. Lets listen and learn from one another.
Victoria Renee 